LIFE IN A SEA OF MEN

                   I can't be your lover
                    as I'm just too nice.
                    I can't be your friend,
                    as you want me in bed.
                    I can't see my friends
                    as you want me for you.
                    I can't be your wife
                    as I'm too intelligent.

                    I can't meet your mother
                    as she would not approve
                  (and I might fancy your brother).
                    I can't be your mistress
                    as I don't lie well.
                    So instead of wasting time perhaps 
                     I'll spend my life with rescued cats.

ALSATIAN FRIEND(2004)

                            It was the 30th,
                            and on our way to bed
                            you collapsed on the stairs.
                            All night long we sat up together.
                            Panting faster and faster,you refused to sleep.
                            On guard and faithful to the end,
                            My blonde black doggy friend
                            who understood my tellings of the times we'd shared
                            and how much I loved you.
                            A sigh was heaved as the sun came up.
                            Then you were gone.
                             So on New Years' Eve I lay alone with a picture of you.
                             Thank God you missed the fireworks.
                

MR.WHO-WHAT-EH.

                       Mr.Who-what-eh
                       was a man who didn't listen
                       yet he heard my every word.
                       And when I left,he didn't seem to notice anyway.
                       All he said as I closed the door was
                       Who?
                       What?
                       Eh?

INSANITY CLAUSE

                         My world is grey with no sunlight.
                         Birds of a feather sing atonal.
                         Genius is my first name,
                         Madness,my last.
                         Call me and I'll run away
                         to my own world
                         where animals are human
                         and people don't see me.
                         I hear myself talking
                         but it's  not me.
                         There are,you say,
                         no grey areas
                         in your land of black and white,
                         where animals are just animals
                         and people watch your every move.
                         Lonely lyrics to the air.
                         No one hears you,no one's there.
                         Thank you for your enquiry.
                         Please try again later.

SWAN NIGHT STAND

                    As he's a swan,I'll call him on
                    and we can swim together.
                   Well guarded and suspicious though,
                   with him I'm not so clever.

                   As he's a swan, he'd stay too long
                   and I could not glide free.
                   My reflection in the glassy lake
                   Is preferable for me.
                  

                  

SNAIL

                 If karma allows
                 I will come back a snail.
                 A wandering gypsy
                 with silvery trail.
                No overheads, and always at home
                with nobodys' deadlines but my own.
                If someone taps my shell and swallows me, then
                be it a Thrush,so I can sing again.

               

VIRTUAL LOVER

              Cry if I want to, but party's not mine.
              Wonder if you think of me sometime
               in a stream of faces you see every day.

             Run down endless corridors.
             If you see me, please press pause
             Not throw it all X thousand miles away.

FOR JACK (PART 3)

           Remind me again why I named you Jack.
           Inquisitive toddler,Jackdaw.
           The Jackanapes of the classroom
           scaling trees like a steeplejack.
           The Jack the lad like a Jack Rabbit
           goes at it in search of the jackpot.
           Now it's jackboots marching on foreign soil
           with the vehemence of a jackhammer.
           Jack be nimble,Jack be quick,
           I'll always know what makes you tick.
                                   x

DAD

           In the mirror in the morning on the shelf
           I could see someone but it was not myself.
           I looked again and saw it was my dad,
           reminding me of certain times we had.

          Yet childhood days seem out of reach.
           Remembering salty air along the beach
           and crunching seashells as we strolled.
           It's hard to think that he grew old.

          "Your hooded eyes you got from me"
           he said, "and love of literacy".
           I want to say I'm doing fine.
           I should have said so at the time.

BANG

           The overloaded world exploded in my face
            and little parts of me were scattered over the years.
           So many things to so many people.
           Like pigeon wings the audience clapped
           to see me glitter like the other stars,
           and like Guy Fawkes
           we lost the plot.

FOR JACK(PART 2)

                     The day you passed out, so did I
                      watching soldiers marching by.
                      I never thought that you'd be killing
                      for a shilling from the Queen.
                      I mean
                      that I am on the frontline too
                      and watch TV for news of you.
                      You're closing ranks and closing doors.
                       Perhaps it's me who's in the wars.

                                              x

BARNACLE BOXING

                          I am a barnacle, you see.
                          A love of pure tenacity
                          that holds vice hard
                          with teeth that dig beneath the surface
                          to grip each atom.
                           I am hard-shelled, tough
                           and tender inside,
                           enduring bitter waters
                           freezing cold and wild winds,
                           seductive batterings of your waves.
                           When all else leaves you,
                            the barnacle remains.
                           You may see me go under
                           but you will never see me drown.

TO THE COUNSELLOR

                 You pull people up
                 I put people down.
                 You're home and cosy,
                  I'm wandering round town.

                  Your words don't show feelings,
                   Yet mine are not fakes.
                  My goal's to destroy you whatever it takes

                  You understand people
                   I couldn't care less.
                   Your world is serenity
                   Mine is a mess.

                  You're content in your tweeness,
                   I'm chaos and tricks.
                   You work with reality
                   Me? never sticks.

                    You give people freedom
                     And I give them hell.
                    You don't wish them malice,
                   I don't wish them well.

                  Your actions speak love
                  My deeds are just cruel
                  You respect all authority,
                  I have my rule.

                  You've got friends by letter and phone
                  But I speak the truth, so I'm always alone.
                 

WRITERS' BLOCK

              I'd like to think there was something extraordinary about it.
              "You're on strike?" boomed the doctor.
              I gazed out across snowclad gardens.
              A robin smiled and shook his tail.
             "Where would we be without people like you?"
               Where indeed.
              Don't do normal or routine,
              Don't do blind conformity or herds,
              Don't do silence when the audience goes home,
              Don't do laughter, life or love.
              My face as closed as my book.
              And the robin ate cake.

THAT'S ME

                So where are you now?
                Somewhere in between apathy and agitation I suspect ,
                bouncing off the ceiling like your own cheques,
                falling to the ground like a snipered grouse.

                Lion on a tightrope
                tumbling on roses.
                That's me.



 

CONFESSIONS OF A NIGHTNURSE

               Tell me doctor,which is worse?
               cynical patient or clinical nurse?
               There he is.Such dedication.
               My shaking hand pours medication.

               Never look him in the eye
               he'll never know the reason why.
               The real predicament of the day
               is not to give the game away.

               I'll shine my torchlight on his face
               then disappear without a trace.
               Tomorrow he'll be going home
               and all that time he'd never known.

DEMENTIA

It's lunchtime in the nursing home.
"Not enough salt",you say.
"They never put enough salt on."
Suspended in twilight,neither dead nor alive,
frozen in a time that isn't mine.
"You're not my daughter",you say.

We sit on the promenade watching giant ships.
"My father works on the Mersey",you say.
"...skipper of a survey launch,out in all weathers.
You're not my daughter."

You slip a tiny hand in mine,
like a small child about to cross the road.
I am your mother for now.
Yet I'll always be
who you say I'm not.

ROCK WIDOW

A Les Paul spinning for the crowds
to rapturous applause.
Twisted and curled in the music world
Ignoring marital laws.

The groupies love your image
and clamour for a sign.
The camera lens may shoot your friends
but they'll never capture mine.

THE RAT

Fired pellets rattled the fence.
A bloodied rat,like some disorientated soldier stumbling in mud,
sniffed the air
and crawled beneath the rain-drenched hollyhocks.
Next door,the neighbour whooped for joy
like Goldings' Jack,
and waited for the little soldier to be still.

BAILIFFS

They took my T.V out today.
Cut me from the virtual world
and left me entangled in disconnected phone wires.
"You can have any colour you want,
as long as it's black",said Ford.
No sight,no sound
no food,no money
no feeling, no point.
No wonder.